The Sovereign Empire of Blaiwana is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Ilya Rei Princeps Rublicae with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.13 billion Blaiwanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auctoritas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.6%.

The thriving Blaiwanan economy, worth 204 trillion Baics a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 95,838 Baics, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women, glassy-eyed Blaiwanan wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command, golden statues of Gilded-Winged Eagles line the memorial avenues of the Funerary District, and anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Blaiwana's national animal is the Gilded-Winged Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Empiric Worship.

Blaiwana is ranked 251,213^th in the world and 8,636^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -156.84 on the Scary Big Number Scale.