The Kingdom of Cellary is a large, orderly nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 86 million Cellaryians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 37.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Cellaryian economy, worth 3.19 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 37,112 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jennifer Government is banned, would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", courtrooms can be a little sketchy, and there's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cellary's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cellary is ranked 190,507^th in the world and 896^th in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 11.33 average smiles per day.