The Supremely Balanced Trays of Cocktail Waitresses is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Doctor Benway with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 25.228 billion Cocktail Waitresses hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vending Machine. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The Cocktail Waitressing economy, worth a remarkable 2,515 trillion pogosticks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 99,722 pogosticks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, more than one company makes the board game Monopoly, the government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap, and the government has an entire department dedicated to staring at microscopes and writing down letters. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cocktail Waitresses's national animal is the alien life form, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cocktail Waitresses is ranked 282,974^th in the world and 10,849^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -382.66 on the Scary Big Number Scale.