The Commonwealth of Gaihia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Neko Vermillion with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.795 billion Gaians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaethia. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Gaihian economy, worth a remarkable 1,747 trillion credits a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 178,392 credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, Gaihian diplomacy is by the book, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, and immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gaihia's national animal is the cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gaihia is ranked 290,094^th in the world and 4,117^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -676.75 on the Scary Big Number Scale.