The Musical Protectorate of Jazzia is a massive, genial nation, notable for its compulsory military service, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.562 billion Jazzians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jazzicio. The average income tax rate is 71.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Jazzian economy, worth 306 trillion Saxophones a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 119,648 Saxophones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

There is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality, the nation's declaring that sharing nukes is caring, the government spends billions to protect Jazzia from a disaster that is one in a million, and the navy's new flotilla is gonna be a thrilla. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jazzia's national animal is the Jazz Player, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Jazzia is ranked 272,743^rd in the world and 3,815^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -259.15 on the Scary Big Number Scale.