The Safe Haven of LGBT Equality is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Harvey Milk with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful population of 31.836 billion Queers enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The minute government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stonewall. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Queer economy, worth a remarkable 7,916 trillion Stormes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 248,654 Stormes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land, and the silencing of dissent speaks volumes about the quality of Queer democracy. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. LGBT Equality's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Love.

LGBT Equality is ranked 294,320^th in the world and 134^th in Gay for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.7 law-abiding acts per hour.