The Holy Empire of Stata Pontificia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Isabela María de los Dolores Pedrares with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, triple-decker prams, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.296 billion Marianans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Education receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Selene. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Marianan economy, worth a remarkable 1,948 trillion lire a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 367,896 lire, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,352,991 per year while the poor average 23,550, a ratio of 99.9 to 1.

This year's hottest seller is plenary indulgence, modern Marianan art is so hot right now, woodcutter axes are cited as the most common cause of death amongst doves, and a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Stata Pontificia's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Stata Pontificia is ranked 175,704^th in the world and 45^th in Kerbals of the North for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 80.73 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.