The Byzantine Stagnancy of Subsonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Enigmatic Answering Machine with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, sprawling nuclear power plants, and national health service. The compassionate population of 16.902 billion Subsonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Primus Subsonia. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Subsonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,360 trillion Denariis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 198,795 Denariis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages, goldfish bowls are three metres in diameter, environmentalists have found an unusual ally in soldiers of fortune, and torture is illegal. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Subsonia's national animal is the Subsonian Stagbear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Subsonia is ranked 292,130^th in the world and 4,167^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1012.48 on the Scary Big Number Scale.