The Totally Totalitarian Tyranny of Totaristan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Imperador Totar I with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, frequent executions, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.692 billion Totaristanos are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Totar City. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Totaristano economy, worth a remarkable 4,733 trillion Totarias a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 345,745 Totarias, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Medical experts advise that those claiming to be medical experts are probably fraudsters, the flight attendant who draws the short straw is on "cockpit bucket duty", space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Totaristan, and Totaristan isn't what it used to be. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Totaristan's national animal is the Tanque, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dataísmo.

Totaristan is ranked 276,674^th in the world and 157^th in Portugal for Safest, scoring 6.18 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.