The Socialist state of Union of larchian socialist republics is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by John Auchinlek with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed population of 8.765 billion larchians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Palikir. The average income tax rate is 76.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Union of larchian socialist republicsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,426 trillion Hammer and sickles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 162,718 Hammer and sickles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, the government is hungry to spread communism beyond the nation's borders, the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Union of larchian socialist republics's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Union of larchian socialist republics is ranked 289,472^nd in the world and 4,102^nd in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -618.93 on the Scary Big Number Scale.