The Tsardom of Lardinia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Tsar Sergei Pavlov with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.306 billion Lardinians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kolosnoy. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Lardinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,204 trillion Larins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 190,966 Larins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

A government program is underway to revitalize Lardinia's beaches, home renovation shows are increasingly popular, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, and money grows on trees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lardinia's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Lardinia is ranked 15,434^th in the world and 19^th in The League for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 8,117.46 on the Gilded Widget Scale.