The Republic of Lointland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Stewart Griffin with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, aversion to nipples, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.995 billion Lointians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Verdanna. The average income tax rate is 66.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Lointian economy, worth 494 trillion Consortieors a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,466 Consortieors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stewart Griffin has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space, Stewart Griffin is generally seen as a know-it-all (Lointland has found 1 easter egg), saying "don't do anything that Stewart Griffin wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, and all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lointland's national animal is the Loint Tigers, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lointland is ranked 194,648^th in the world and 3,261^st in The East Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 1.56 kickbacks per hour.