The Oppressed Peoples of Statecontrol is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Our Great Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 5.545 billion Statecontrolians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Leader City. The average income tax rate is 87.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Statecontrolian economy, worth 812 trillion dead geeses a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 146,558 dead geeses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Statecontrolian Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation, unemployed political consultants and advertisers spend every election night weeping for the good old days, babysitters are a thing of the past, and a passport is literally priceless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Statecontrol's national animal is the panther, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Statecontrolian nationalism.

Statecontrol is ranked 53,379^th in the world and 1,347^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.35 law-abiding acts per hour.