The Caniac Kingdom of Brand New Best Stanistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Rod Brind'Amour with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.055 billion Stanistanians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cameron Indoor Arena. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Stanistanian economy, worth 175 trillion Best Stanistan Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 166,124 Best Stanistan Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,513,710 per year while the poor average 2,044, a ratio of 740 to 1.

Education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?", a lot of glass windows have needed replacing recently, sofas are perpetually on sales that Must End Soon, and the nation's once beautiful countryside has turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Brand New Best Stanistan's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Anglican Christianity.

Brand New Best Stanistan is ranked 288,229^th in the world and 77^th in NATO 2022 for Safest, scoring 4.51 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.