The Armed Republic of Eagle-Hawk is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Puypuy The Hampter with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 2.702 billion Eagle-Hawkers are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Manila. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Eagle-Hawker economy, worth 878 trillion pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 325,015 pesos, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

The dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, criminals are put to death while cuddling their favourite teddy bear, prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, and scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays. Crime is totally unknown. Eagle-Hawk's national animal is the Hamster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hampterism.

Eagle-Hawk is ranked 4,847^th in the world and 111^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 8,486.69 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.