The Holy Empire of Hamburg empire is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 291 million Hamburg empireans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 15.8%.

The very strong Hamburg empirean economy, worth 21.7 trillion burgs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,682 burgs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Leader's Dreadnought-class tankbuster limousine is said to have more ammunition than the entire Brancalandian Army, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper, and aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hamburg empire's national animal is the chickens, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Hamburg empire is ranked 132,737^th in the world and 1,223^rd in The Communist Bloc for Safest, scoring 68.24 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.