The Nonexistent Forest State of Agaqiniala is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its frequent executions, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 604 million Agaqini have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Averbird. The average income tax rate is 36.4%.

The Agaqini economy, worth 29.5 trillion Solarmambis a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 48,884 Solarmambis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, asking a friend if they like watermelons is a potentially criminal act, and male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Agaqiniala's national animal is the Sand Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Agaqiniala is ranked 228,528^th in the world and 7,663^rd in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -105.55 on the Scary Big Number Scale.