The United Republic of Heisenbee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by John Adama with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, vat-grown people, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 21.608 billion Heiseans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caldera. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Heisean economy, worth a remarkable 8,052 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 372,661 Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy, frisbee games on college quadrangles are grounds for expulsion, loudmouthed journalists are given the chop, and major cities run on potato batteries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heisenbee's national animal is the Hobbie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Heisianity.

Heisenbee is ranked 5,552^nd in the world and 5^th in New Western Atlantic for Lowest Crime Rates, with 113.92 law-abiding acts per hour.