The Colonial Union of United Ottarenzian Capitalist Republics is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Ihrr-Selik Kolina Loviri with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 9.115 billion Ottarenzians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Relik'Acima Salifu. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ottarenzian economy, worth a remarkable 2,076 trillion Ohtiiks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 227,856 Ohtiiks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has begun breaking all large businesses into thousands of mom-and-pop general stores, the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, loudmouthed journalists are given the chop, and there's never enough space in space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Ottarenzian Capitalist Republics's national animal is the Amber Pheonix, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

United Ottarenzian Capitalist Republics is ranked 291,660^th in the world and 4,152^nd in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -792.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.