The Constitutional Lah Dynasty of Singaporen Empire is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Triangaporen Empire with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, otherworldly petting zoo, and enslaved workforce. The cynical, devout population of 1.854 billion Singaporeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Merlah. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Singaporean economy, worth 225 trillion Singaporean dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,772 Singaporean dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Bureaucrats close new businesses for not complying with the Penguin Packaging Index, 'Merlionnado 6: You Gotta Be Kidding Me' is this summer's top-grossing movie, constipated disaster survivors are rapidly learning that MRE is short for "Meal Requiring Enemas", and brains have been removed from lists of best brain foods. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Singaporen Empire's national animal is the Merlion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lahism.

Singaporen Empire is ranked 253,176^th in the world and 5,125^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -161.22 on the Scary Big Number Scale.