The Federal Republic of Uppenja is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Vermin Supreme with a fair hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, rampant corporate plagiarism, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 10.898 billion Uppenjans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Walddyk. The average income tax rate is 77.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Uppenjan economy, worth a remarkable 1,355 trillion guilders a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 124,379 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, and manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uppenja's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Uppenja is ranked 281,825^th in the world and 205^th in Thaecia for Most Primitive, scoring -373.37 on the Scary Big Number Scale.