The United Socialist States of 3Turtilia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Turtle Master with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.202 billion 3Turtilians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tortoisia. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient 3Turtilian economy, worth 139 trillion Scuteses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 115,722 Scuteses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, the number of deaths due to poor fungus identification is mushrooming, teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank, and parents dread their examinations more than their children. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 3Turtilia's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

3Turtilia is ranked 6,619^th in the world and 149^th in the Rejected Realms for Safest, scoring 127.03 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.