The People's Republic of Kalamani is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its punitive income tax rates, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 388 million Kalamanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Macadamia. The average income tax rate is 76.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Kalamanian economy, worth 26.3 trillion Kalakukus a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 67,686 Kalakukus, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps", the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea, and the nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalamani's national animal is the Kalamanian Lizard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kalamani is ranked 41,828^th in the world and 363^rd in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 5,043.94 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.