The Dolphin's Paradise of Dolplandia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Matthew Wei with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, ban on automobiles, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5.876 billion Dolplandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hibiscus City. The average income tax rate is 66.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dolplandian economy, worth 804 trillion Yen a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,829 Yen, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices, the nation takes the world's poor and tired and the huddled Masses yearning to breathe free, and the countryside is shrouded by wind farms. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dolplandia's national animal is the Long-beaked Common Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lenikobu.

Dolplandia is ranked 269,580^th in the world and 135^th in Lands End for Most Primitive, scoring -239.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.