The Three Republics of New Tussia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Anton Schmidt I with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, fear of technology, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.088 billion Tussians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nikapolis. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Tussian economy, worth a remarkable 2,945 trillion Republican Denarii a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 209,089 Republican Denarii, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prison officers are bribed not to take bribes, nuclear reactors are held together with party string and Hubba Bubba, safety warnings are prohibited lest they give people ideas, and major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Tussia's national animal is the Black Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Tussian Orthodox Church.

New Tussia is ranked 247,796^th in the world and 114^th in Lands End for Most Primitive, scoring -145.38 on the Scary Big Number Scale.