The Crowned Republic of Hicuria is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Mikael Von Hikuria IV with an even hand, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, compulsory military service, and smutty television. The compassionate, devout population of 4.869 billion Hicurians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lakarri. The average income tax rate is 91.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hicurian economy, worth 824 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 169,398 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas, every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver, and edutainment video games are taking Hicuria's students to the next level. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hicuria's national animal is the Sparrow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hikuria Cristanitia.

Hicuria is ranked 283,606^th in the world and 699^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -395.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.