The Kingdom of Noworossyjsk is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Stanislaw 1 with an even hand, and renowned for its punitive income tax rates, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 1.81 billion Noworossyjskians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taman'. The average income tax rate is 64.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Noworossyjskian economy, worth 96.7 trillion florins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 53,442 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up, the government says that Possession is nine-tenths of the Lore, and the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noworossyjsk's national animal is the beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Noworossyjsk is ranked 77,602^nd in the world and 1,948^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring 30.98 on the Scary Big Number Scale.