The New Order of Schirantopia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Henrik Himmel with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.197 billion Schirantopians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Burgundy. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Schirantopian economy, worth 537 trillion Golden Bullets a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 168,186 Golden Bullets, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,169,611 per year while the poor average 8,423, a ratio of 138 to 1.

Schirantopian companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation, it's entirely possible foreign diplomats misheard when Schirantopia offered the words "peace be upon you", gun-wielding criminals always wear appropriate eye and ear protection, and the roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schirantopia's national animal is the shark, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Schirantopia is ranked 282,619^th in the world and 6,924^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring -378.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.