The United Confederation of The Saintsland Republic is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by PM Maria Valencia with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, smutty television, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 9.725 billion Saintians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ciudad de Santos. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Saintian economy, worth a remarkable 3,307 trillion Santos a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 340,137 Santos, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

A recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders, and refugees without a PhD are sent back to where they came from. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Saintsland Republic's national animal is the Snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Saintsland Republic is ranked 287,870^th in the world and 7,026^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring -520.2 on the Scary Big Number Scale.