The Empire of Capitalismland is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 538 million Capitalismlandians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 10.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Capitalismlandian economy, worth 39.9 trillion gold coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,227 gold coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution, inheritance tax has recently been abolished, the official Capitalismlandian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, and on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Capitalismland's national animal is the gold bar, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Capitalismland is ranked 258,409^th in the world and 4,488^th in The East Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -7.07 on the Clooney Contribution Index.