The Socialist Literary Society of Cellar Doors is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mithrandir with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.972 billion Cellar Doorsians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.
The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arda. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.
The all-consuming Cellar Doorsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,175 trillion Tolkiens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 130,996 Tolkiens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
The overhead luggage compartment is often full, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets, Cellar Doorsian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, and criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cellar Doors's national animal is the Giant Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.
Cellar Doors is ranked 276,993rd in the world and 10,434th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -298.76 on the Scary Big Number Scale.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
Cellar Doors, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, Cellar Doorsian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, the overhead luggage compartment is often full.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, a bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers.
- : Following new legislation in Cellar Doors, Cellar Doorsian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Mithrandir.
World Assembly
Endorsements Received: 10 » 
Debussy, 
Treadwellia, 
New Rogernomics, 
DaPiFanatic, 
Nippon Shotou Teikoku, 
Aigania, 
Port Flynt, 
Wang Yao, 
Juba, and 
Marcellinople.
