The Kingdom of Tezal is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Konshu with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, free-roaming dinosaurs, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 6.462 billion Tezalians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hashima. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Tezalian economy, worth a remarkable 1,021 trillion kopecs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 158,126 kopecs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Replacement organs are grown in vats, people stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating, even secular Tezalians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", and secret police deal with secret crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tezal's national animal is the snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atzlánti.

Tezal is ranked 284,990^th in the world and 10,981^st in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -436.69 on the Scary Big Number Scale.