The Kingdom of The United Speds is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 243 million United Spedsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Public Transport. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.2%.

The strong United Spedsian economy, worth 14.7 trillion elixirs a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 60,308 elixirs, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, there's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, you can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health, and law schools are hurrying to teach the "prank defense" to their students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The United Speds's national animal is the hawking, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

The United Speds is ranked 225,577^th in the world and 1,046^th in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 6.84 average smiles per day.