The Parliamentary Republic of United Beltonia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Pedro González with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 5.013 billion Beltonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Varskograd. The average income tax rate is 74.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Beltonian economy, worth 839 trillion Bel'tonskiy Rubls a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 167,380 Bel'tonskiy Rubls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's a bright dawn ahead for United Beltonia, chickens roam the streets freely, multilingual concierges man empty inner city apartment blocks, and when shaking hands with foreign leaders Pedro González wears an armoured gauntlet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Beltonia's national animal is the Beltonian Eland, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nondenominational Christianity.

United Beltonia is ranked 283,656^th in the world and 10,899^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -403.34 on the Scary Big Number Scale.