The Grand Kingdom of North-Bardonia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King Erich I Leftenson with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, disturbing lack of elderly people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.8 billion North-Bardonians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carthiada. The average income tax rate is 62.7%.

The frighteningly efficient North-Bardonian economy, worth 292 trillion Krown-Starlings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 162,690 Krown-Starlings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Vets have been drafted in to help "fix" those who fail the parental license exam, human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants, North-Bardonia's first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded, and a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North-Bardonia's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Old Faith.

North-Bardonia is ranked 27,549^th in the world and 34^th in Lands End for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 5,980.43 on the Gilded Widget Scale.