The Emirate of Arcaistan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Adam burtenstack with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.064 billion Arcaistanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hirovia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.4%.

The Arcaistanian economy, worth 61.5 trillion Arcais a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 57,847 Arcais, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

Mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined, women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, and coat closets are being re-branded as bedrooms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arcaistan's national animal is the Sigma alpha wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Arcaistan is ranked 77,734^th in the world and 44^th in Thaecia for Most Primitive, scoring 30.98 on the Scary Big Number Scale.