The Democratic Republic of Crima Norte is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Salvius Fernando with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 1.461 billion Crimans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santa Luciano. The average income tax rate is 71.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crima Nortean economy, worth 154 trillion Pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 105,940 Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Max Barry is this year's Miss Crima Norte, euthanasia is legal, being Salvius Fernando has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs, and the military struggles with recruitment. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crima Norte's national animal is the Spear tooth shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Crima Norte is ranked 269,953^rd in the world and 184^th in Thaecia for Most Primitive, scoring -238.19 on the Scary Big Number Scale.