The Republic of Europeia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its state-planned economy, parental licensing program, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.188 billion Europeians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 50.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Europeian economy, worth 35.3 trillion jortcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Pizza Delivery. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 29,676 jortcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Europeia's national animal is the sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Europeia is ranked 92,557^th in the world and 459^th in Europeia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.91 law-abiding acts per hour.