The Cheese Loving Monarchy of Gabingston is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by King Spaghet II with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 10.188 billion Pepperonis are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Callistan. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Pepperonan economy, worth a remarkable 3,044 trillion Gabings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 298,841 Gabings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,185,324 per year while the poor average 50,880, a ratio of 23.3 to 1.

There's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, agricultural employees work for peanuts, and the smell of napalm in the morning is usually alongside grilled Goose. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gabingston's national animal is the Goose, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cheesist Traditional Church.

Gabingston is ranked 293,259^th in the world and 1,263^rd in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 0.11 average smiles per day.