The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Nijchhōh I with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory vegetarianism, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.631 billion Kwandoites are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 4,306 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 370,256 cryptos, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

Dessert dishes make up the Geektopian breakfast menu, a popular artist is claiming that a raw steak with a dog turd on it is a portrait of Nijchhōh I, the nation's new religious police burn blasphemers on bonfires of their own books, and selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the ass, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 3,310^th in the world and 27^th in Europeia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.7 law-abiding acts per hour.