The Commonwealth of Zosniabar is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Murphy Allgood with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.202 billion Zosniabarians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Broadside. The average income tax rate is 66.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zosniabarian economy, worth 206 trillion hustecs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 172,176 hustecs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Popular sunny beaches always have a cloudy outlook, an enfeebled opposition party spends most of its time simply trying to stay on the ballot, rundown towns are frequently sold to billionaires for their pet projects, and what goes down must come up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zosniabar's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Cult of the Chair.

Zosniabar is ranked 273,683^rd in the world and 193^rd in Thaecia for Most Primitive, scoring -268.16 on the Scary Big Number Scale.