The People's Republic of Finnstonia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Juha Pajari with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The cynical population of 18.232 billion Finnstonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helsinki. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The powerhouse Finnstonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,986 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 108,972 Markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Finnstonian satellites can detect it, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, the nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear", and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Finnstonia's national animal is the Brown Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Finnstonia is ranked 4,579^th in the world and 116^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 15,625.51 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.