The Commonwealth of Gelph is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its irreverence towards religion, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.145 billion Gelphers enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 81.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Gelphian economy, worth 67.9 trillion Buckaroonies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 59,271 Buckaroonies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

When their backs are against the walls Gelphers look out for gay men, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, and visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gelph's national animal is the Baby Wheel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gelph is ranked 40,068^th in the world and 641^st in The Communist Bloc for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 5,204.73 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.