The Empire of Litchenstienen is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Alola Rondle with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.329 billion Litchenstienenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stadt der Lieder. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Litchenstienenian economy, worth an astonishing 11,191 trillion Nuyens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 781,060 Nuyens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise, not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence, the term "Native Litchenstienenian" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority, and unruly children often visit adult websites when angry with their parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Litchenstienen's national animal is the Palm Top Tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Litchenstienen is ranked 80,628^th in the world and 3,643^rd in Balder for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 4,057.77 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.