The Republic of United Slavik States is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Slavik The Great with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 3.201 billion United Slavik Statesians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Administration, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vyacheslavsk. The average income tax rate is 44.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Slavik Statesian economy, worth 423 trillion Savrons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 132,333 Savrons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Eagle is one of the most popular forenames in United Slavik States, reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians, swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds, and captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. United Slavik States's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

United Slavik States is ranked 273,241^st in the world and 261^st in The Union of Democratic States for Most Primitive, scoring -266.18 on the Scary Big Number Scale.