The United Kingdom of Zion Imperium is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Yitzchak Winternitz III with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, sprawling nuclear power plants, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.797 billion Zionites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swanage. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zionite economy, worth a remarkable 1,317 trillion Pounds a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 193,896 Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Many marriages go virtually unconsummated, the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers, and major corporations receive tax breaks for no apparent reason. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zion Imperium's national animal is the Politician, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zion Imperium is ranked 291,465^th in the world and 309^th in The Union of Democratic States for Most Primitive, scoring -830.77 on the Scary Big Number Scale.