The Panlipunang Demokrasya of Bagong Timog Mindanao is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Julian Renato Caballero with a fair hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.63 billion South Mindanaoans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital District of Davao City. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient South Mindanaoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,030 trillion South Mindanao Pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 183,091 South Mindanao Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every workday begins with group therapy, t-shirts displaying a photo of President Julian Renato Caballero performing the Full-Monty are selling out, builders across Bagong Timog Mindanao are blocked up with orders for new public loos, and Bagong Timog Mindanao's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Bagong Timog Mindanao's national animal is the Philippine Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is No official religion.

Bagong Timog Mindanao is ranked 289,639^th in the world and 306^th in The Union of Democratic States for Most Primitive, scoring -624.45 on the Scary Big Number Scale.