The United Slavic States of Newsoslavia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Mikhail Yokhochev with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 3.373 billion Newsoslavs have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sodusk. The average income tax rate is 61.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Newsoslavian economy, worth 221 trillion Newsoslavian Rubals a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 65,665 Newsoslavian Rubals, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-Newsoslavian Rubal charge on their phone bill, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, and the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Newsoslavia's national animal is the Pigeon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Newsoslavian Orthodox Christianity.

Newsoslavia is ranked 179,580^th in the world and 3,266^th in The East Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.