The All Powerful Empire of EAsprts is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Harold Maguire with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.287 billion EAsportsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Messnaldo. The average income tax rate is 63.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming EAsportsian economy, worth 107 trillion Dinars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,519 Dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Short shrift is being given to applications for political asylum from illegal immigrants, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, even God cannot save you in EAsprts, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. EAsprts's national animal is the Ghost Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

EAsprts is ranked 43,086^th in the world and 219^th in Europeia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.59 law-abiding acts per hour.