The Free Union of Tymus is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Stanislaw Phlyacehawlder with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 13.146 billion Tymusians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olthall. The average income tax rate is 71.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Tymusian economy, worth 709 trillion thoms a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 53,980 thoms, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Nothing gets the party jumping like Stanislaw Phlyacehawlder specifying how high, prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned significant others, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tymus's national animal is the Tymusian herding horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tymus is ranked 202,421^st in the world and 353^rd in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -83.61 on the Scary Big Number Scale.